the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
