I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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