I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
