my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
