Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
