This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
