David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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