He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
