were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
