So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
