so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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