On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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