there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
