yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
