Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
