He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
