but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
