Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
