Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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