She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
