this just has baby written all over it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
