I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
