did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
