so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
