dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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