I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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