how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
