i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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