i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
