he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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