Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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