he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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