Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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