We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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