I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
