Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
