every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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