Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
