There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
