Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
