where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
