She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
how does that bad decision feel?
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