I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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