I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
