just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
