so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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