she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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