if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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