oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
