i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We don't watch enough power rangers
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
