peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
