So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This baby is an asshole
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
