This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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